I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
