So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
