i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
