You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
