Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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