playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
