JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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