When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
