do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
