oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
