I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
As shirtless as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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