Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
