i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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