sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
