Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
