Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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