i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize