You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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