We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
zippers are such a cool invention
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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