And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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