Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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