Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
