We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We had sex on a dog bed..
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
