The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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