HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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