I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
