she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
