Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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