I want to stick my p in your. b.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
