Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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