i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
