Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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