Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize