i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
