is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
