ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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