I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
