sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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