his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
