At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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