if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize