My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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