I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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