I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
