Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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