Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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