I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
