brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
