this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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