Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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