my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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