Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
