My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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