Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
